Chapter 7.6 – A Depression in the Mist

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“That’s amazing news, honey.” To the tone in Jake’s voice, he didn’t sound too excited about what I just told him. I tried to smile; showing my great set of teeth, I thought it would be contagious. But it wasn’t. Jake seemed far away, he seemed distant. He had an unreadable look on his face, one where no emotions shown through.

I was pregnant. Again. Months after our wedding, I had surprise trips to the washroom and back aches. My breasts were swollen and I had that inconsiderable “glow.”

I sighed, and looked at the floor. Jake had given me a reaction I didn’t expect. My feet slowly swayed to the motion of circles as I fiddled with my thumbs. The room quickly fell silent as Jake tried to think of an explanation for his…lack of excitement. I wanted a baby, but I wasn’t ready to become a mother again, yet. I just landed the lead role of a brand new television series and the filming process started next week! I wasn’t sure how I was going to excuse myself from this major project, let alone convince the director to postpone the series.

I cleared my throat, trying to get Jake to speak. But, he didn’t. So, I decided to break the very thin ice. “Sweetie, it’s okay. It’s a huge surprise for both of us.” I waited for him to respond, but he didn’t. “It’s a big shock, I get it. Both of us are doing well at the studio and we both have projects to complete. A baby is the last thing on our minds.”

 I gazed into his eyes, trying to catch his attention. I can see he was worried, but we were going to get through this together. Jake quickly lost my eyes and looked out for in the room. I slowly asked, “What’s wrong, Jake?” I wanted to know what was bothering him. “It’s just.., I…I’m not ready to be a dad.” He threw his hands up in the air as a sign of frustration. “Jake. Look at me.” His green eyes quickly met mine, and were locked. “We’re not ready to be new parents, but we’re going to have to be. A baby is on its way, and we will raise it the best way we possibly can. Besides, Hailey and Tamara are dying to have a little baby brother or sister.”

Jake smiled, and understood where I was coming from. Life threw obstacles at us, and we had to get over them. Jake grew closer to my little baby bump. He started to speak to the unborn child as if it could hear him.

I was going to be a new mother…

 Now that I had told Jake and my family about the new baby, the hard part just began. I tried to brush it off as long as possible. I even visited the set with larger clothes on, but suspicions were rising.

Mark Jillian was the most ruthless director in Bridgeport. He got his way to the top by caring for no one but himself. The media loved him the first day he step foot onto the studio grounds. He brought something new to Bridgeport, a fresh and modern take on classic ideas. He casted me for the lead role in his new television series called “The life of Sims.” It was a show about five friends living in the big city and getting through life. Many obstacles are thrown at them, and they get through it with each other’s support. It was a show no one ever heard of. It was a new and creative idea that everyone wanted to be a part of. Luckily, Mark Jillian wanted me! After the first audition, my agent phoned me and told me I was part of the show. This was before I found out I was pregnant.

The director was a man of few words, but when he spoke, everyone paid close attention. He was known for his stubborn mind and his hatred for divas. I was afraid to call him up to discuss my pregnancy, but I knew I just had to.

I was in the kitchen with my cell phone in my back pocket. I gently reached for it and started to dial Mr. Jillian’s number. It rang…and rang…and rang until the voice of a young woman came on the other line. “Mark Jillian’s office, how may I help you?” I quickly responded, “Yes, hi, I’m Eva Halliwell, and I need to speak with Mark.” The woman was stunned to speak with me, but she quickly got over her star struck feeling and handed the phone over to the director.

His deep voice came on the other line, “Eva, what’s up.” I took in a deep breath and blurted it out, “I’m pregnant!” A heard a faint pause on the other line, then Mark spoke, “Great, this is why I hate dealing with actresses.” I was speechless; I didn’t know how to answer such an arrogant man. Mark grunted and sighed, “Fine, I’ll hold off the filming. But, when that baby pops out, your butt better be on this set!” He angrily hung up the phone.

Even though he was ruthless, he was kind at heart.

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I dreaded this time during my pregnancy. It was the time where none of my clothes fit my whale of a body. I was swollen everywhere, and my belly was inflated! I waddled around the house, craving exotic foods. But, I needed to get out of the house and party! The party animal within was screaming for fun. I loved the sound of the music rush through my body as I tore up the dance floor.

I waddled to my bedroom as quickly as possible. The grind, a local club, was having an exclusive party and my name was on the list! I couldn’t resist an invitation for a fun time so I dug through my closet, looking for something that actually fitted. After countless of hours throwing clothes out of the closet and pulling every strand of my think, luscious orange hair, I finally found the perfect dress to fit my transformed figure. It was a black, shinny metallic dress ready for the night I was going to have. I slipped it on and had trouble getting it over my swollen belly. But I managed to get it on. I walked over to the floor length mirror and did what I usually did before going out. I admired my beauty, and my glowing complexion.

Suddenly, I realized everything was too overwhelming and happening to fast. I was questioning my ability as a mother, since mom helped me out with the girls when they were young.

 Was I ready to have a new baby? Will I be able to be there for my children? These new thoughts roamed my mind, and I felt like the energy I once had was sucked out of me. Something was happening to me. I was changing, and I felt it…

Jake was working late down at the studio filming extra scenes for his new movie. Mom and dad were watching the girls since it was a school night. I, on the other hand, was in my red convertible driving to The Grind. It was the place to be tonight and everyone who was a somebody was attending the total posh party.

I parked the car and slowly headed towards the entrance. I was stunned to learn this place was a dump! It was built next to the port and in an abandoned warehouse. This place was the most inclusive but exclusive dance club there was. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to get back into my party mood. I walked up the cement stairs and passed the bouncer on the way in, getting in for free.

It seemed like the whole town was there. The Grind was packed with sims my age, some younger and older. I’ve seen the fliers around town, especially down at the studio but I was always hesitant to attend. But now, since there was a party, I jumped on the occasion! I headed towards the main attraction, the enormous double-sized dance floor. My heart was pounding to the vibrations of the incredibly loud music. My pregnant body swayed to the electrifying beat.

This is what I lived for…I think.

A wealthy, older gentleman was buying a round of drinks for every brave soul willing to drink the intense alcohol. I pumped my fist in the air, excited to be in the mist of the party. As I pushed my way through the dancing crowd, I felt sims brush up against me, each dancing to the beat.

I danced my way over to the bar where the mixologist was mixing a few of his specialties. The aged man, with wrinkles running up and down his face, looked at me with a perplexed look. He scanned me, gazing at me from head to toe with his hazel eyes. He had salt and pepper hair and dark suit on. He got closer to me and tried to scream above the music, “Is it safe for you to be drinking?” He asked. I looked at him confused myself, not realizing what he meant. The aged man pointed his wrinkled, rough finger at my belly. I sighed and realized I wasn’t able to drink, for the baby’s sake. I nodded, trying to laugh the situation away. Ignoring the aged man hitting on me, I ordered a non-alcoholic beverage from the barman. I watched in awe as the man threw glasses up in the air, juggled them and filled each one with a yellowish tint substance. All he said was “Good for the baby,” as I tried to slip him a tip. He politely refused stating it was on the house since I was a celebrity. I graciously smiled and sipped the beverage.

The bright lights flickered to the beat of the pumping music as I stood by the bar, drinking my beverage. The yellowish-tint substance tasted like banana juice. It was smooth and fresh, it tasted excellent! 

As I conversed with the mixologist, speaking about my new television series, I felt a pair of eyes staring me down. I leaned in to speak with the barman, “Is someone behind me, you know, eyeing me? The barman looked behind my shoulder, and slowly nodded his head. “It’s your husband, Eva.” My eyes opened up wide, and my jaw dropped. What was Jake doing here? He would be so angry with me if he knew what I was up to!

I slowly turned around with the beverage in my hand, to face Jake with his hands on his hips. He was fuming, I could tell. He took large strides over and glared right into my ocean blue eyes. “What are you doing here?” He yelled, wondering why I was at this party. “I was invited to attend, so I did.” I looked around the room, seeing every one eyeing us. Jake was breathing in and out, trying to calm himself down. “In your condition, you’re here partying when you should be at home taking care of yourself, and the baby!” We started to argue. “I didn’t sign up for this! You’re the one who knocked me up!” Jake’s eyes grew large, and I could’ve seen fume pop out of his ears after he noticed my drink. “You’re drinking? Are you nuts? What if something’s wrong with the baby?” I rolled my eyes, and quickly responded, “Relax, it’s just banana juice.”

I sipped my beverage and looked into Jake’s eyes. “What are you doing here, I don’t need a chaperon!” He cleared his throat and spoke, “One of the extras for my movie called me and told me you were here! Are you happy now, sims think I’m married to a party animal!” “I am a party animal, I needed to be here! I’m fed up of staying home while you’re out doing the thing you love when I can’t!”

That’s how I honestly felt. I didn’t like staying home by myself when the sims around me fulfilled their passions. Mom and dad were out every day, spending their time together during their final years. The girls were at school each day and Jake was down at the studio. It left me alone at home to wonder in my thoughts.

After stirring up the courage, I finally yelled, “I regret getting married!” As soon as I uttered those words, I regretted saying them. Jake backed away, and bowed his head.

“Jake, I…I didn’t mean it. It’s the commitment issues speaking. You know I love you.” “Do I, how do I know you really love me. Sure you married me, but you don’t even want to have a child with me.” “I do want a child, I just don’t know if I can handle it again. When I had Hailey and Tamara, I missed their baby years. I turned my back and left my parents to raising my girls. I just don’t want to make the same mistakes again.” Tears started to roll down my cheek. Jake grew closer to me and held me in his arms. He stroked my cheek and brushed his hand through my hair. “Eva, we’ll raise this baby together. It’s different this time. It’s just you and me.” I cried in his shoulders, but in between sobs, I let out a faint, “I know.”

Jake grabbed my hand and whispered, “Let’s go out next week, just us two, and the baby of course.” I laughed and agreed to his offer. We left right after and enjoyed each other’s company.

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I got out bed that morning, with an excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. I pulled the silk bed sheets away from my body to see a puddle of fluids. My water had broken. I was in labour! I stood up, clutching my swollen belly. It was time to have this baby, after months of carrying all this extra baby weight.

I mustered up the force to yell, “It’s time!” I was in my bedroom alone, and I waited for someone to come and get me. Mom and Jake ran into the bedroom with worried faces. Jake ran up to me, holding my hand. “Grab the bag, its coming.” A large smile came across mom’s face as she realized another grandchild was going to be born into the simworld, today! Jake held my hand the whole way out to the car. I sat in the back with mom by my side, reassuring me everything will be okay. “Breathe; breathe honey, hehehoo, hehehoo.” I squeezed her hand tightly, “Mom, shut up!”

Mom back off and was silent the whole way to the hospital. I was rushed to the delivery room where after five hours; I gave birth to a bouncing baby girl!

Little Christie Halliwell was born of a Friday afternoon weighing at 6 lbs 2 oz. She was a happy little tyke from the first day we brought her home from the hospital. Always giggling, and gurgling, my daughter loved to be around the rest of the family. She was an instant hit with the public eye once we presented her to the media. Everyone loved her golden blonde hair, and her ocean blue eyes. Christie was a real mix of Jake and I!

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Shortly after Christie was born I felt very different than my usual self. I had a feeling of being overwhelmed. I didn’t know how to take care of her, let alone hold her in my arms. I felt guilty, in knowing maybe Christie wouldn’t get the childhood other children have. Since Jake and I were both famous, I felt like I would be depriving Christie of what she deserves, a normal life. I was constantly tired and hated getting out of bed in the morning. I was running on low energy and was experiencing a feeling of loneliness. Even though I would never be alone, something inside of me told me I was alone.

My luscious orange hair was tied in a long pony tail. I was in my pyjamas since I didn’t feel like getting dressed for the day. I sat in Christie’s nursery, watching over her tiny, fragile figure. I didn’t feel like going back to work, even though that’s what I wanted. I just sat on the plush couch, watching my daughter.

When she would be hungry, I didn’t budge. I let her cry in her crib. I didn’t know how to handle her, let alone comfort her. I was afraid of failing as a mother, so I didn’t bother to go near Christie.

I had a blank expression on my face as I watched my daughter yell to be fed. I just sat in the plush couch, doing nothing. I did love her, I truly did but I didn’t know what to do. It was such a new experience to me that I didn’t know what I was into.

I heard the wooden door bust open and Jake run into the room. He had an angry and disappointed look on his face. He passed by me, shaking his head. Christie, eager to be fed, jumped up and down in her crib. Jake rushed over to her to let her out. He scooped her up, snuggled her and placed her on the floor with a milk bottle in her mouth. He comforted Christie, and reassured her everything was fine, when it certainly wasn’t. I still sat in my couch, feeling like a failure. Many women around the world kill to have a baby, and have that motherly instinct right away. I had a baby, and I didn’t know what to do.

Jake slowly walked over to me and crossed his arms while clearing his throat. “Again? What’s wrong with you, Eva? Your daughter is crying out for you and you don’t budge.”

I looked deeply into his green eyes, and shrugged my shoulders. I lowered my head and tried to hold back the tears that tried to fall. Jake scooped up Christie and left the nursery to leave me alone in the silence of the night.

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Dad was in Hailey and Tamara’s room repairing their broken laptop. He was working hard in his frail stage to leave no burden to the family. While working on the laptop, he accidently poked his hand into the electrical socket. An electric shock ran through his body and stopped his heart.

Tamara, hearing his cries, ran into her bedroom to see her grandpa transforming…

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